when something has to break
to fear or not to fear, that is the question
Is there a secret to achieving what we most desire?
I think I have discovered it.
And, day by day, I am learning how to practice it.
Yes, achieving what we most desire is a practice. And this practice is not a straightforward one - but it’s an incredibly rewarding one.
I’m leading this FREE MasterClass next week to help you bring this practice into your life.
But first, here’s what I know to be true:
Whether it’s relief from our most destructive behaviour (like raging at our children, addiction or self-doubt) or reaching our most coveted goal (like publishing a bestseller, having a child or experiencing healthy body image) we often expend more mental energy in fear than in faith.
The fear (often unconscious) is around what we don’t want to happen:
I don’t want to lose it on my kids today
I don’t want to binge eat tonight
I don’t want to fail at writing my novel
In this moment, consider this question: How much am I motivated by fear over faith?
For example, do you exercise because you’re afraid of getting fat or because you love the feeling of caring for your body? Do you stay up late nights because you’re afraid of colleagues/clients judging you for taking too long with an assignment or because you are genuinely connected with your purpose and values?
It’s a nuanced question, right? You may not know the answer.
No judgment over here, as I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
Part of the practice is to become more discerning about what is motivating us: fear or faith.
Here’s something else that I know to be true:
Fear is a wretched motivator. It may propel us to acquire the thing or avoid the thing - but it leaves miles of toxic damage in its wake. And, fear is especially damaging if we long to have any amount of ease, calm and joy around what we most want to achieve.
Faith, on the other hand, is an extraordinary motivator. Because - and this brings tears to my eyes - faith doesn’t have to come from us alone. Faith doesn’t require the self-propelled striving, status-comparing, obsessing about failure and fearing the future. Faith, for me, is interchangeable with trust: trusting something that I can’t see or touch but rather something I feel and know internally.
Faith is wisdom.
And, we all have the capacity to experience, grow and operate from a place of wisdom.
This work - helping others access and operate from wisdom - is my purpose, I believe, in this lifetime.
Here’s something hopeful to know if fear is still your main motivator:
Eventually, something will break - and it will be for the best.
When we rely on fear to propel us or protect us, it’s not sustainable. And, when that something breaks, it’s as though a space opens up and offers us an alternate way to feel motivated. That’s the way of faith.
For my dear friend Todd Spencer, something had to break.
Todd’s greatest fear was getting fired and that’s exactly what happened to him - at the very peak of his then-career with the CBC.
Todd was fired in spectacular fashion for something he didn’t do.
Being fired broke Todd and brought him to depths he never imagined.
Can you imagine…the very thing you fear most actually happening to you?
According to Todd: It happens for you.
Todd is my guest for this week’s podcast episode: he shares his remarkable story of transformation, including why getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to him and how he stays motivated today as a leader in his current workplace, as a parent and as a human.
Hint: It has to do with radical kindness.
You can follow or subscribe to my podcast here and be the first to receive Todd’s episode when it drops Tuesday morning.
Are you curious about how to operate from a place of faith over fear?
Want to experience greater ease, calm and joy as you move towards what you most desire?
I’m sharing my transformative process in my FREE MasterClass: Built for Sustainable Success.
I'll teach you the evidence-based practices to build a Success Of Your Own. You'll feel more clear, calm and confident about your next steps. What do you have to lose? Maybe some unnecessary worry/overwhelm.
WHEN: Tues Oct 10 and Wed Oct 11 from 12-1pm EST.
WHAT: Practical, Inspiring, Transformative
WHY: Nothing changes if nothing changes.